This just in: Leave it to the Georgia Bulldogs to destroy the hopes and dreams of Longhorns everywhere... The Bulldogs haven't had a decent team since the 1980s, as far as I can remember. That's OK, ya'll -- just hang up the redshirts for good. Next year, maybe I'll sit in the alumni stands, and hype things up some more...
This just in: LeBron James hits 40, so every professional basketball player on the planet Earth is campaigning to sandbag him out of the NBA somehow.
Throwback news: The discrepancies between charging and blocking fouls ruined basketball for me. They ruins it! Baseketball was born... But, riddle me this: how did it wind up in the hands of two miscreants who run a cartoon show?
Dallas Cowboys pull out a W near Dallas today against the New York Giants. Turkey day is saved. I had to read the highlights, because my life is really that terrible. I blame Mark Zuckerberg -- not just for that, but for everything wrong with planet Earf. I will continue to blame him for everything wrong with the entire planet Earf, until I have gotten into his bank account, where I belong. Update: Mark Zuckerberg actually thinks that's the most outrageous thing I have ever said about him. He is grossly mistaken. I'll go easy on him now, since it's Thanksgiving. I was going to be a real jerk there.
Texas Longhorns are still in the running for CFP, despite their one-loss. Leave it to a Stoops to stoop as low as to sabotage Bevo. Every Stoops who has ever lived has had this particularly annoying life stategy. Can you imagine if The CU Buffaloes make it too, and we have a bovine CFP happy holiday season? Throw the Buffalo Bills into the NFL playoffs, and we might get steak dinners again, folks. The Bills have been looking scarier than usual the past couple of years.
Just like that -- the Dodgers win the 2024 World Series in game 5...
Did that fish just meme the meme of the meme? He absolutely did. That's why I hired him.
This just in: Men and women compete in entirely different leagues, because that's how heterosexual competition works. Stay out of men's career's please.
The NY Mets new ownership turned their ball club around and got them into the 2024 NL Championship series, after being historically terrible. They'll be playing the LA Dodgers. The Dodgers sure can dodge World War III, but can they win the 2024 World Series? To be continued... [Update: Apparently, they can...]
The Texas Longhorns football team move up in the rankings to #1 in both the AP polls and coaches' polls, after some slow seasons, since Mack Brown retired. The Longhorns defeated the OU Sooners 34-3 on 10/13/24 at The Cotton Bowl in Dallas, arguably one of the most competitive rivalries in college football.
In other news, The Detroit Lions are looking a little scarier than anybody ever thought they would (or wanted them to, for that matter), since the Barry Sanders days...
The NBA announced today that we may see some playoff and final games on network channels this year. Both the NBA and the NFL were becoming more and more inaccessable, while MLB remained available to the impoverished. Maybe there is hope for men yet, and we won't all kill each other... Men need to get their aggression out somehow. Trying to force them to "gay up their lives" just pisses them off 10x more... Amen...
I want to add one more thing to the possibility of seeing more sports on more network broadcast TV stations.
I just wanted to clarify what I meant about teams named "Giants," since I was lecturing the internet community near Stanford a few minutes ago:
Destroying San Francisco's hopes and dreams since January of 2021...
Bring out the chains next time or shenanigans! I'm not even watching the rest...
The pressure is real. The best way to destroy a city's hopes and dreams is by losing a Super Bowl.
The propoganda is real... I've seen this sort of thing before with the Pats vs the Raiders...
Who thought it was a good idea to pump up the 49ers and the Giants like this?
B. Purdy bends the knee on 3rd and 11 for the win...
