This just in: Rather than get shoehorned into some kind of dumdum-conspiracy-theory, I decided to explain my business roadblocks for Hatorade Games™ on tiktok livestream (@jpeerless111). The video can be downloaded here, along with a couple minor clarifications. Otherwise, stream below:

This just in: The economic forecast looks good for 2025, as long as president-elect Donald Trump holds good to the plan the news media has outlined.

This just in: Student loan company, Mohalajihad, disregarded every single contractual obligation upon which lendees agreed. Borrowers underwent extensive training before being allowed to borrow money via the FAFSA system. You cannot fool our young people, Mohalajihad -- everybody voted to forgive student loans four years ago. We do not believe a single word you say, especially when you continually hit them up for money, even after having forebearance paperwork approved. If I didn't know better, I'd say Mohalajihad and Intuit were in cahoots.

This just in: The Grinch who stole approximately the past 14 Christmases or so keeps making return trips to Corpus Christi, Texas for some reason. His visits are not appreciated.

Fun fact: Mark Zuckerberg's whiny passive aggressive behavior is not appreciated. Mortal combat is appreciated.

Fun fact: Paris Hilton does not exist any more than JW Marriot does. It's just a name hotel chains can get behind to wage war and set up an encampment. My name means more to me than these people for that very reason. I'll never let some communist run off with my identity to wage war on my homeland. That's why I don't get too attached to a nickname or an online handle. Those are too easy to run off with.

This just in: A number of parties in the legal community in Texas have been implicated as accomplices to multiple homicides, attempted murder, conspiracy to commit murder, corporate espionage, and just about everything else under the sun at this point -- just pick anything, and they're tied up in it and guilty as hell. Rumor has it that they can wiggle free of these implications, if they represent a potential plaintiff in corporate litigation. Translation: If you're a litigation attorney, you're the problem in America. Do your job, or walk your ass to prison or the graveyard. Both cops and robbers feel the same way about you.

Let's give you lawyers the benefit of the doubt and assume that you're just dumb and incompetant but not total scoundrels. You know how when you fill out injunction paperwork, there's a little section that makes you explain how the damage is irreparable and ongoing? Even if you put the fire out now, the house is still ruined. You're supposed to be the legal system. We have a government, because it's supposed to do its job -- that includes civil rights. There is no insurance company to give me money to buy a new house. No, no, there isn't, is there? Nope. There is a legal system with litigation attorneys who are supposed to sue scoundrels for plaintiffs instead. That's what we actually have. If we don't have that, let's just bulldoze Washington DC right now, because what's the point of pretending to be civilized? Dollars don't really mean anything to me. I'd rather trade gold/silver/copper, because I'd be wealthy in 5 minutes like that, the way I see it. Good talk, lawyers.

This just in: Hatorade Games™ had their webserver attacked today, Sunday, November 24, 2024. Presumably, the "Knife Party Cultist" terrorist organization was responsible for the attack. Luckily, it was the only website the parent company N-Dimensional Engineering had migrated to the new webserver so far. Streamers were seen rioting in the streets, as a result, because their desire for roms this Christmas was so great. When asked for comment, they provided this:

Update: Some dummy thought they were going to mine crypto on my new webserver. It took a bios flash update, but that ended that plan. I'll have to talk to my isp about this. In any case, The new webserver launch has been delayed.

This just in: Apparently, Bytedance, Inc led a campaign to defame the swag tab on Indie Jam Land™ last year and launched "TikTok Showcase" at the same time. Bytedance and Shopify have declined to comment. All anyone heard was "grumble, grumble, communism, grumble, grumble..." When people who mattered were asked for a rebuttal, they said, "we'd love to defend TikTok and Shopify, along with their respective nefarious behavior, but their stocks just don't perform well enough for us to give half a shit. Their earnings statements don't reflect profitability, unfortunately for them." Eyewitness-News™ has concluded that they must have picked some fight or another that they just didn't have the wheelbase to win. When the FDIC was asked if any money went missing, they declined to comment.

This just in: Eyewitness-News™ went so far as to go back in time just to reach out to the Montreal Expos for comment, and this is what they had to tell us:

When ne-er-do-wells in the business community in the USA were contacted for comment, they replied, "maybe we'll move out there too. Then, we can have a proper Empire Strikes Back episode. It's better than fed time -- that's for sure."

This just in: The Bundy Administration has officially broken free commerce on the internet. It actually used to work. I actually know that for a certainty. Have no fear, I may just have to accelerate my release timeline on The Kraken™ web browser. Maybe I'll reinvent the entire internet just to sell wheels... The Bundy Administration's press secretary has declined to comment. I actually called one time, not to mention all of the emails, and no one was willing to talk turkey. I have resorted to calling them The Bundy Administration. Mark Zuckerberg, aka The Evil One, has commented, "I don't want him selling anything." The DOJ isn't really understanding why I was suing him and why I will have to sue him again. I hate to say "I told you so," but I told you so. If I had gotten this into the courtroom in January of 2021, none of this havoc and chaos would have occurred. Update: Joe Biden's official on-the-record response was "why don't you just release The Kraken™ already?" Maybe I will, Joe... Maybe I will...

In other news: The Grinch is stealing Christmas (again), as we speak... Can I release The Kraken™ in time? Can it be done? To be continued...

Apparently, DuckDuckGo and Chromium have decided that my 4096 bit SSL encryption is "not trusted," because you have all heard of me, I haven't ripped any of you off, and 4096 bit encryption is at least 8x (often 16x or even 32x) more robust encryption than just about anything else you encounter on the rest of the internet. I guess since Google's quantum computer cannot crack my encryption with the current capability of their technology, that means it is unsafe. DuckDuckGo, Mozilla, and Chromium have apparently mistaken "unsafe" with "uncrackable by current state of the art."

If they'd take reasonable valuation of my businesses into account, valuation exceeds the limit to become a trusted certificate authority. I'm trying to take the easy way out here... Or, I can keep working on The Kraken™, and block all of your 256 bit certificates as "untrusted" and "inferior."

This just in: The DOJ has finally decided to break up Google. Read the breaking news here in my repost on linkedin.com. This is better for the stock market as a whole and small business than you might think. Growth in small caps leads to more mergers, acquisitions, and IPOs. I may do a news special about the past few years and how it led to the Google breakup, after the server upgrade.

Expect more articles and video reports with fewer one-liners after the server upgrade. Competitors never got on board with my lawsuit, reporting the negligible as far as I'm concerned, and I kind of enjoy this a little more than I thought, so expect me to take it more seriously in the future. I'll have a link archiving the old site, after I upgrade.

Nothing against people from India, but when your phone/socials won't let you speak with Americans, and the people from India/Bangladesh/etc call you at every opportunity, it makes you extremely suspicious.

The Guinness Book of Hernias has declared that spying on people is bad, mmkaayyyyy... The Guinness Book of Broken Necks agrees with that assessment. This is terrible news for the Mark Zuckerberg community. Rhetorical business question: Why have I had to become such an internet nerd for a living just to make a living?

This just in: Indie Jam Land™ has trademarked Silicon Valley Nerd Land™, much to the chagrin of Silicon Valley Nerd Landers™... I've never felt like such a nerd in my entire life that Megan Fox found out I'm sitting alone at my computer on Friday night, trying to scratch out a living... I had to patsy my nerd lifestyle choices on Silicon Valley Nerd Land™...

This just in: Moonlighters, including "Hamboney Stromboli," have decided their actual careers are more important to them than the chump change moonlighting money. Translation: They don't want to get fired.

Fun fact: Tolerating oldpeople/Iranistanistanistanian/lesbian loiterers is bad for business. Normal humans will find somewhere else to do business. Chasing the hot women away is also very bad for America.

Another business case study: Tickle Me Elmo made every parent a villain in 1996. That holiday season will never be forgotten. It will be in the business Christmas history books for supply shortage which inevitably increased demand for multiple years. Business hypothetical questions: Were saboteurs responsible for the supply shortage? Were manufacturers and retailers printing money for years, due to the resulting demand increase (saboteurs be damned)? Was "The Grinch Who Stole Christmas" inspired by similar events?

This just in: Bob Iger is rumored to be considering a "Hunchback of Notre Dame" remake. Despite the similarities with Igor from Dr. Frankenstein, the hunchback story is completely different. Iger has declined to comment. Business hypothetical questions: Is Bob Iger's appearance being similar to Steve Jobs a coincidence? Is Tim Cook's appearance a coincidence as well? Is it possible to become a CEO of more than one multibillion dollar corporation simultaneously without traveling time?

This just in: New storage unit rental contracts are at an all-time high as ne'er-do-wells in the business community (many of them being Stanford alumni) prepare for arraignment. Update: The Stanford School of Business has pardoned me for my jokes. Meanwhile, their students have responded that they "aren't crazy enough to work near San Francisco." I guess that makes sense. I'm not crazy enough to wait tables for a living in Austin, Texas either. That's more than likely what I would be doing, if I had stayed there.

This just in: Local knuckleheads have gone into business on their own, presumably inspired by the "symbolic launchramp of destiny."

This just in: The Monkey's Paw was just seen somewhere in South Texas. Be careful what you wish for -- it just may come true in ways you did not intend...

This just in: Texas cattle ranchers have decided exporting beef to India is a much better idea than hiring Indians to do all of our technical work. They want the hell out of India, because there is not enough beef, obviously. Apparently, tigers and cobras make ranching more difficult. Let's sell them some beef. We can make money and keep them where we want them at the same time. Rumor has it, farmers in Southern Mexico want to get on board by exporting avocados and other foodstuffs to India, as well.

The facebook user-base has posed a question to Mark Zuckerberg: why do they have to peer at the internet through facebook racketplace? Facebook staff contributed to the discussion in a healthy manner, suggesting that their CEO "do something" about "bounty culture" on their app with a dwindling (mostly dwindling because they murder people who quit) user-base.

If John does everything, wtf are the rest of us supposed to do? We need jobs too, right? You do... You made your bed by screwing up all of John's careers, so sleep in it. In the meantime, fast forward to the second half of this video to where I start talking about Nantucket to understand why diversification is so important. I know I sound like an arrogant prick throughout the first half, so just skip that part.

This just in: N-Dimensional Technologies, LLC has officially restructured as the Sole Proprietorship N-Dimensional Engineering and is no longer offering convertible notes. All forms of intellectual property are still maintained by their sole owner, Dr. John Emil Petersen III. You all missed every single golden opportunity I gave you.

It would appear that Mark Zuckerberg is beginning to realize that murdering half the planet to cover up how he ripped me off 13.5 years ago and has been continuing to rip everything off from me is not as appreciated by "society" as he once thought it would be.

This just in: The US Stock Market is surging after election results. With the Trump victory, Republicans took the Senate and are poised to maintain control of The House of Representatives. With the outrageous inflation over the past 3 and a half years, valuations are still poised for further gains, assuming the continuing forecast of a solid economic outlook.

The re-expansion of big box stores is a good sign for the near-term economy. Make sure not to alienate your customers in the mid to long term.

We're going to do a little wholesale/retail exercise mixed in with a case study in the next few paragraphs. This is what this country really needs right now, if we are going to ever get back to a goods-based economy. Services are important, but a strong economy is historically based on goods and resources, and I am not referring to human resources departments.

Fun fact: Retail giants occasionally lose tremendous value when high-pressure sales tactics are employed. Radio Shack is a great case study (all time high price per share of $117.75 on 12/6/1999 to all time low of $0.025 on 10/7/2015). Their height of popularity came from phone sales in the late 1990's where they developed high pressure sales tactics to sell accessories with new phone contracts. They deviated from their core business model, because the short term money was too good. Eventually, they cleared out inventory to change to a FiFo inventory model to keep expenses down and chase "hot" new fads, but they missed out on the inherent problem which was alienating customers -- high pressure sales tactics.

By chasing the next quarterly report, Radio Shack destroyed their long-term business model. So many companies go down the drain in this exact same manner. Be careful whom your board members are. They just might value the next quarterly report over your company's long-term survival.

BtoB sales companies can find themselves in a very precarious position when similar tactics are utilized. No one wants or needs their livelihood jeopardized by hostile business tactics. People tend to avoid purchasing anything from those sorts of companies, because they do not wish to support those sorts of actions.

People value quality, reliability, and trustworthiness when choosing a wholesaler. Options are not necessarily a good thing, especially when bulk orders are being made. Obviously, price point is important, when dealing with a wholesaler, but reliability, quality, and trustworthiness are perhaps more important. Margin and sales price can be adjusted on the retail end, depending on the market a retail company caters towards. Companies do not want to jeopardize their brand names with poor quality products, especially in engineering fields where quality and assurance take on such an important role in core business function.

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Rhetorical news question: Why don't these "multi-billionaire CEOs" have harriers? I would absolutely have a harrier, if I were that wealthy. I'm kind of angry with all of you for not having one. What the hell do you do with all of that money? You know what I heard? You waste it all on knick-knacks and paddy-wacks. Humanity is well-aware of how you all fail at paying your licensing fees. Folks, do me a favor and call them harrierless, until they either pay me licensing fees or get a harrier.

Fun fact: "Multi-billionaire CEOs" and their pet sycophant government cronies can actually still go to prison and/or Guantanamo Bay. They are not above the law. I repeat, they are not above the law.

I'm going to have to start pinning these guys to a corkboard and connecting them with strings to the trainwrecks they have caused in my neighborhood.

This just in: Mark Suckerberg is officially socially retarded. Why does he even bother to presume to run our social lives?

This just in: Mark Suckerberg has officially destroyed the integrity of California's business reputation.

Obviously, next time, I'll have a much larger bank account before I dedicate another four years to suing Marky Marky.

Did he really just lord of the memes meme our hopes and dreams like that right now?

Right when you give up on blondies, they surprise you...

This just in: Mark Zuckerberg has been reported to be "throwing in the towel," so to speak, because his façade of competitiveness is tuckerin' the poor sod out. He's actually just a 2-bit swine herd.

This just in: Judge Neurock maims little girls for a living, all over the world.

Source: The "Ser Duncan the Tall" comic... Too soon? I mean, it's been about six months since the last one, as far as I can tell.

This isn't meant so much as an insult as I want my life back, Brandon. No, not jamón, not the son of the friar, but the other one. I'll proofread your life story, if necessary, to correct for errors in my life story.

A resurfacing of Zippo v. Zippo (1997) is altering the legal landscape from Tinseltown to Silicon Valley.

In other news, a resurfacing of moneyball.img has the CEO of Google terrified-for-a-living.

A prominent lawyer in the state of New York has publicly stated that "contract killings are still contracts in a court of law."

In other news, I filed an appeal to a higher court in my lawsuit against META, INC., and Mark Zuckerberg.

I'm bringing the good times back to America, folks. Go on and hit the swag tab and get you some shirts on Cyber Jam Land Monday™, 2024 (store relaunch currently under construction). I have sooooo many new products in the pipeline. Get some hard copy albums and swag in the meantime, and you'll have all the great products sooner, rather than later.

In other news, the price of orange juice concentrate is on the run.

Here's something I learned from working in finance years ago...

Here is a civilized way to fight back against communism, tyranny, and oligarchy.

I wound up getting a little more famous than I ever intended, so I have to take my story updates a little more seriously.

I think people think Facebook is a bigger part of the economy than it actually is. A handful of stocks whose companies you've never heard of are the problem, while the rest of the market is tanking for no reason whatsoever.

Don't try to outgame the market as a whole...You're too emotional.

Guess what time it is? It's time to shitcan the moonlighters.

*Sniff, sniff* What's that smell? Is that weakness?

Oh no, Meta... Where did all of these class action lawsuits come from?

I'll keep shorting Intuit, Inc., until it all comes crashing down.

Good grief! $800 for a glorified TV tray? I hope we don't have to start wheelbarrowing quarters to get a bunch of bananas pretty soon:

Update (10/1/24): It was funny, until it happened...

The market seems a little more uncertain than usual... What do you do with your money?

How long does it take to bring new technology to market? The answer is -- it depends:

Pretrial against Meta, Inc, et al:

1/19/24 -- Scandal at Blackrock!

Here's the 411 on SAN:

Full disclosure -- I hold a couple of different long positions on SAN, as of 1/3/23.

Short positions on Intuit, Inc and SRS/REK (short real estate ETFs)

edit 10/2/24: I couldn't believe all of the US Federal government ownership in SRS/REK. That's outrageous. Why are they shorting real estate in America? That makes no sense, whatsoever... I mean they were a major, major, institutional position.

Why I shorted Tesla:

You dug too deeply and too greedily on eyewitness-news.com:

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